It's still bloody cold at the moment, but Spring will be here soon. Anyway, this March had a terrific start with World Book Day, but I'm still eager to reveal what I think of all the upcoming releases during the month. As always, there will be no 2017 leftovers & if some of the candidates confuse you, it's because I'm sticking to the UK schedule. Well, I better stop dawdling, so let's dive right into:
For those of you who don't know, Sparrows are female Russian spies who use their bodies to their full advantage. I have not read the book this is based on, so I can't judge this movie too much. But it does look decent enough so maybe it has potential. However, unlike The Hunger Games movies (which the director of this film previously worked on), I will read the book first...so my opinion on this film will take a long time to get here.
Netflix's first offering for the month may concern people when I say that it's a live-action kids movie about a dog, but Benji is soposedly a pop culture icon with loads of movies under his belt with multiple distributors (including 20th Century Fox & Walt Disney Pictures. This comeback reboot looks fairly standard, but I will say that it doesn't make me want to kill myself. So maybe, there's a chance that I will be satisfied with the end result.
Comedies always give me 50/50 expections & party animals are always front & centre. This particular film looks guilty of some of the elements that I find annoying. But, there actually is a chance that I might enjoy this flick. The idea of party animals being forced out of their comfort zone looks like has decent gags to boot, so I'm cautiously optimistic about how it'll turn out.
Do you love Britain? Do you love wrestling? If you love both, this could be right up your alley. This film has hardly gotten any publicity, which is a shame because it does look witty & quirky. All it's got to do is not disappoint me because there are some low-brow jokes sprinkled in the trailer.
Well, we're back to comedies & this film has similar expectations to Game Night. However, the marketing has done a good job at making this film look like a wild rollercoaster ride of fun times. So I'm actually looking forward to what possible madness will occur here.
I have no idea what a loud poem is supposed to be, but what Netflix is offering with this label is intriguing me. It looks like a slick Western that should hopefully not disappoint. If it does, I probably wouldn't be routing for more loud poems.
Pacific Rim may not be Guillermo Del Toro's masterpiece of cinema, but it was definitely a worthy action blockbuster for the summer of 2013. Since he was too busy boning a sea creature, he did not come back for this sequel which is worrying. All I want out of this film is to be brainless fun because that's what you expect from giant robots piloted by humans beating the shit out of giant monsters. Besides, it's not everyday that America makes its own Tokusatsu project without Japanese stock footage.
I'll admit, the trailer for this film is fucking fantastic. Don't believe me, check it out for yourself. It manages to make what could be a generic action flick look like the most awesome thing you could lay your eyes on. Because of this, I am looking forward to what Screen Gems & Sony will be offering this month, so it better not disappoint.
The tales of Peter Rabbit, Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, Mr Tod, Tommy Brock, Jemima Puddle-Duck, Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-Tail & many more are timeless, gentle & charming. They're stories that will last forever as new generations of British children will discover the loveliness that Beatrix Potter created. Everything I've described has not matched this infuriating, obnoxious, annoying clusterfuck that Sony & Columbia Pictures have dished out. They've pretty much used an author's entire legacy & used the wrong tone ON PURPOSE. The wacky slapstick comedy approach just won't work with a brand name like Peter Rabbit, so it's already destined to be one of my picks for the worst movies of 2018. Just sprinkle in a ridiculous plot point about impressing a girl & a hopelessly miscast James Corden (at his absolute worst) & we'll be getting slop for the kids that I will refuse to put up with.
Normally, I'd love to give niche drama a chance, but this particular drama just looks average. The military aspects do have the potential for great cinema, but the plot point about a girl separating her mother from her new boyfriend just comes off as selfish. Overall, I'm not expecting greatness from this flick & I'm going to skip it until it airs on television.
I gotta be honest, I've never played any of the Tomb Raider video-games nor have I seen any of the Angelina Jolie movies. This film seems to be marketed as a generic adventure, which might be ok for a video-game, but probably not as a movie. I might watch this film anyway, but I'll wait for the critical reception to see if it'll work for noobs.
Drug addiction has always been a problem, but this documentary explores different generations of drug issues & it looks like it's treating the subject matter very seriously. Also, the people behind Life Animated worked on this picture, so I'm hopeful for the quality on display here.
What the hell is this film supposed to be. It looks like a sci-fi film in the likes of Alien & Annihilation, but the trailer has told me nothing. I don't know if it's going to be good, bad ore even ok. I'm sorry, but it looks like I'm skipping this one.
I may be an atheist, but that doesn't mean I'll be rude to Christianity movies. The director of Lion sounds promising enough, but that doesn't mean I'll be too excited for this picture. But I will admit, it is nice to see a film where the Virgin Mary is the centre of attention. All i want now is for this film to not repeat the brutal critical reception of Grace Of Monaco.
Well well well, it looks like my cautiously optimistic attitude towards comedies this month is applying to Netflix. This particular comedy has the potential to incorporate jokes that will get on my nerves, but it's also offering some of the craziest action scenes pulled off by the most unlikeliest of people...gamers. Although the Shaggy joke feels dated, I'm hoping we get a great comedy here & my optimism is especially evident with the gun-floor firing joke at the end of the trailer.
Well, it's about time Disney. Ever since the release of the pointless live action remake of Beauty & The Beast, I've decided to be supportive of any idea from the studio that will tell a different story. This film could end up generic, but I am intrigued by what the story will tell & the visuals are easily fantastic & stylish enough to belong in cinema screens. So I can already brand this off as a better start for Disney's 2018 lineup. But only time will tell if we will get a good movie or not.
A horror film focusing on the mental psyche, me likee. I'm not expecting anything perfect, but this film looks like it could be genuinely scary. As long as it doesn't rely on cheap jump scares, we could get some solid entertainment for the horror genre.
Nope.............not watching it...................it's gonna be forgotten the minute it arrives in cinemas..................I'll be sticking to better things.
Can't believe I've gone this long without talking about an international film spoken in another language. I don't know what this film is trying to offer in terms of the plot, but everything else looks crazy, mad, boisterous & totally insane. Because of this tone, I am really excited for the show on display & I hope it lives up to my positive expectations.
I'll admit, the trailer advertised this particular film with generic styles, but I am curious about the end result. It sounds like it's about an implant that will make human beings "perfect" & as a guy why appreciates sci-fi that makes you think, I hope it becomes sensational.
Oh no, an American remake of a Japanese film, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! Granted, I might be a little rude here. This looks harmless enough & the sunlight stuff is intriguing. But I'd rather watch the original Japanese film before this because I think the marketers are trying to manipulate my emotions.
Bit weird to release something religious before Easter, but it feels nice to make a film where one of Jesus' disciples is centre stage. But this looks like a generic la-de-da blockbuster which has the potential to be terrible. I'm sure it will have its audience, but at the moment, I just want them to be happy.
What is it with this month & having the same expectations for theatrical comedies. This film looks like it could have some cringeworthy gags. However, I think the plot is a stroke of genius. I love the idea of parents trying to stop their teenage daughters from having sex on prom night, so all this film has to do is live up to my optimism. If not, I will be severely disappointed.
I have not seen the first Baaghi film, so I shouldn't be the one to judge this action flick. Anyway, this action flick has a chance to be good stylish fun or dreadful generic crap. I'm gonna have to wait & see in order to find out, but the plot gives me a lot of Taken vibes & some of the stunts & choreography do look impressive. At the moment, I'm cautiously optimistic.
Sometimes I wonder if Netflix is gonna become the new dumping ground for film festival entries. Anyway, this film could've been blatant girl-power exploitation, but this flick promises to be amazing. It looks like it's trying to be a gripping drama about a girl who goes through the ultimate extreme to win back her father. It may sound generic, but I think something incredible is gonna come at the end of the month. If it disappoints, I might go through a small slump.
Yay, Steven Spielberg. My favourite director is promising something big this year. He's adapting the 2010s novel about a virtual reality version of South Park's Imaginationland & its going to be a spectacle like no other. Maybe my excitement is based too much on the novelty of seeing a large variety of pop culture icons sharing the same screen, but I just can't wait because everything looks so awesome. I'm ready for this, are you?
Ladies & gentlemen, my most anticipated movie of the month. Wes Anderson made a promising debut for the animated industry with the terrific Fantastic Mr Fox & this film promises to have the same quirky style. Hell, the style & setup is so good, that I'm not even gonna complain about the simplistic plot about a boy trying to find his lost dog. So yeah, Isle Of Dogs could easily become the best stop-motion animated film of the entire year & I'll be in that cinema the first chance I'll get.
So that's March 2018 & what a massive improvement over last time. There's a lot more to get optimistic over, so my list will be a little bit longer:
Isle Of Dogs
Ready Player One
Take Your Pills
A Wrinkle In Time
Game Over, Man
Join me next time where we will witness a soulmate hunt, a giant ape fighting giant monsters, a deadly game of Truth Or Dare, a British assassin who is really good at his job & the biggest MCU crossover ever assembled.